This is the first in a series of reposts from facebook, in order to save myself the mental effort of thinking of something new.

'Tis the season, as they say. Though I'm not referring to Christmas. I'm referring to an occasion where students can expect more coal than presents. The start of semester!

This post is primarily dedicated to the Teaching Assistant newbies who've just begun their contracts. You've probably just rolled into this program all bright eyed and bushy-tailed, brimming with relentless and insufferable enthusiasm for improving the minds of the undergrads entrusted to your care. This is the wrong frame of mind to be dealing with the little monsters. Give them an inch and they will take a meter of your entrails between their pointed serpentine teeth. They will roll over you, and it is important you take none of their guff.

A good way to communicate that they are dealing with someone who means Business is by reminding them of their inescapable subordination. This is best done in the comments section when marking their essays:

• "This essay is as terrible as you are wrong."

• "Changing the font to Wingdings II would be the only means of improving your prose."

• "At the bottom of this paper I have included the number for alcoholics anonymous. For my sake, please seek out their services before turning in further assignments."

Or, as my friend TR suggested, simply stapling Taco Bell resumes to their essays is an easy way to salvage some of your valuable time (to be spent in the pursuit of drink, in his case), offering valuable career opportunities while providing helpful and supportive feedback.

My old roommate's method can also be deployed to keep the fiends off-guard. Going off-book, this rogue decided to implement a previously unannounced pop-quiz at the beginning of discussion. This was not marked, another fact which I recall was kept from the students, and was highly effective at instilling a sense of bi-monthly terror. 

What fun!

This is my first post, don't expect pulitzer prize winning dreck just yet. I've set this up as a soapbox from which I can rant in full paragraphs without irritating my facebook audience, or offending the more delicate flowers who frequent my profile.

I may as well give some biographical details. I'm currently an unemployed ex-student with academic PTSD, living in Victoria, BC. I'm old enough. My academic focus has been on labour, environment, and business history. I've also had experience with aboriginal history, cultural history, and have a shameful fascination with medieval history. The rest of my life has been devoted to hiking, dreaming, drinking, and laughing at the expense of everything else.

I am a cynic, but I detest this quality in others.

You can expect unsolicited opinions on forestry and labour troubles, defense of lowbrow culture and conservatism, and discussion on topics like the ethics of cannibalism and people I have Issues with.

What you can't expect is anything resembling a coherent essay, narrative, or a basic respect for English grammar.

Thanks for reading, I look forward to disappointing you all.